Getting Personal

I've never been a downer nor have I wanted to divulge some serious personal details about my life on this blog, but I feel like it's time to share something that has been weighing heavy on my mind.

If you have been keeping up with my blog you'll know that I am getting married in a couple of months and couldn't be more excited about the big day.  What you don't probably know is that there is someone out there who is just as excited, if not more, as me and Jordan for our wedding day;  That person is my Mom.

Sure you might be thinking to yourself that this is normal for a lot of brides, but I don't think many share the same circumstances.  My mom has been battling Metastatic Breast Cancer for 11 years.  For those of you who aren't familiar with clinical terms, it means that she was diagnosed with breast cancer, spent a few years in remission, and then the cancer came back and spread to her bones.  The cancer will never go away.

She told me a couple of weeks ago that 96% of the people that were diagnosed with the same cancer back in 2000 are now dead which, A) was a shocker, and B) goes to show you how strong she is.  Honestly, she is the type of woman who has never shown weakness and has never had a pity party for herself.  If you met her off the street you would have no idea that she even had cancer...unless of course you caught her at the gym that one time and her wig fell off...but that's a lighter/funnier story for another day.

Anyway, she has been battling cancer for a long time now and she has always used "benchmarks" as motivation.  For instance she said she wanted to live long enough to see a grand child.  My niece Julia was born three years ago.  Another goal was to see me graduate from college, (a major event in our lives given my wild high school years), which was was accomplished in 2008.  Her last major goal was to see me get married which brings us full circle in terms of relevance to this post.

The reason I decided to share this with you now is because her health has seriously declined in the past month.  Tumors have spread to her brain and the medicine her doctors have prescribed has been making her too tired to do anything.  I'm sure most of you understand the fatigue, but for this woman, (who I used to call momzilla when I first got engaged), to not be excited for anything that has to do with the wedding is really hard to see.  She has been so into the wedding thus far that it breaks my heart to see her not be able to participate or enjoy wedding related events.  For example I had my first bridal fitting last night and I know it was something she had been looking forward too for a long time.  Tonight we have our tasting and I know that if she is even able to go, she'll only be able to eat one or two bites of a three course meal. 

Anyway, she is having surgery on Friday to remove the tumors in her brain and the procedure will be done by a world-renowned surgeon at Massachusetts General Hospital.  Hopefully this will take care of her fatigue and she'll be healthier for the wedding in July so she'll be able to reach her last goal and enjoy herself that day. Please keep your fingers crossed for her and our family!

I Love you Mom if your reading this!